F. Falmer Browne

• Role

  NPC

• Playby

  Trevor Baxter

• Full Name

  Felix Falmer Browne

• Aliases / Nicknames

  'The Professor' 'Farmer Brown' 'The odd Farmer'

• Goes By

  Falmer Brown

• Profession

  Scientist

• Position

  None

• Birth Date

  3rd June 1816

• Status

  Single

• Height

  6'

• Hair Color

  Grey

• Eye Color

  Brown

• Physical Description

  Slim and athletic for his age.

• Character Traits

  Pre-occupied with his experiments and bothered by the attempts of his housekeeper to keep order in his ramshackle library-cum-laboratory of a house.

• Employment

  To feed mankind!

• Expertise

  Stocks and Bonds, Agricultural Science.

• Residence(s)

  Residential Area of Kalispell.

• Kith & Kin

  None in this world.

• Timeline

  Born 3rd June 1816, Amherst, MASS, where his Father taught Agricultural Studies.

   

  After numerous office jobs, young F.F. found his way to New York, banking and the burgeoning stock market after the big crash of '37. Indirectly profiting from the Slavery of the South and the arms race of the War Years, F.F. Browne sold up in 1867 and returned to  his early interest in Agriculture and Scientific progress in the pursuit of happiness for all mankind.

   

  In 1874, in order to find peace and quiet to work in, and to try out his theories, he moved to the remote township of Kalispell, Montana.

• Character Notes

  Falmer Browne is a gentleman of some breeding and refinement, rich enough and sated enough on the 'blood money' as he calls it, that he accrued in the past, to be completely unambitious in everything except his pursuit of the Benefit of All Mankind. He is a vegetarian for Scientific reasons. He is rather fond of the ladies, but gallant and courteous, and tries not to let them distract him from his important work..

Recent Posts

1. 

   Gotta Carry On

   August 24, 2022

   "Fauna's animals," Weedy declared, looking up at the Professor, "isn't that right?  But I don't know what that other thing is."  He knew a lot, but not nearly so much as Professor Browne!
    
   "You are quite correct, Master James. As for peripatetic, I merely indicate that Miss Wigfall is not a permanent inmate of my humble abode." Browne explained opaquely.
    
   "I just clean there, part time." Jemima made things more transparent.
    
   "C'mon, now, let's dig inta this grub!"  Addy glanced at her 'company', gesturing to chairs...well, and a crate or two, her kitchen wasn't set up for so many people!  "I ain't had nothin' good fer near two days, an' this smells wonderful!  An' we gotta eat supper so we can have that pie, right?"
    
   The company was seated and with no Arabella present this time, they all somehow forgot to say grace and tucked straight in.
    
   She glanced at Jemima and smiled.  "It's right kind'a ya ta bake these fine vittles, Miss Jemima, an' Mr. Browne Bear," she grinned, "was right neighborly'a ya ta loan her t' us!"
    
   Jemima was shy about having all the attention on her (just Isiah's attention would have been quite ample and quite nice too, thank you) and looked a bit embarrassed. 
    
   Luckily, Farmer Browne moved the conversation on as some present had given a confused look at Addy's nickname for him.
    
   "He he, 'Browne Bear' well, there is rather an amusing story behind Miss Chapel's unusual appellation for me." he chuckled and heads turned his way.
    
   "You see, er, I once went to an event, and I was dressed as... a brown Bear!" He waited for the amused laughter and tittering but heard only silence and the clank of the boys cutlery on china. "Well, er, I suppose one had to be there to er..."
    
   "I'd stick to flora and fauna and leave the jokes to Bret Harte and Mark Twain, if I were you Professor." said Jemima, raising her thick eyebrows mischievously at Weedy and Josh. 
    
   @MD
   
   
2. 

   Gotta Carry On

   July 28, 2022

   "Uncle Isiah, this is Professor Brown, he lives behind us, where Miss Jemima does.  He has spiders and crickets and snakes and gophers..."  Well, he did have a gopher!
    
   "Thanks, Weedy." He could tell that Mr. Brown must be a nice man or Weedy wouldn't have been so happy to see him.  
    
   Falmer Brown chortled indulgently. "I must admit, Mr Chappel, that Master James is correct in his resume of my small collection of local fauna, but Miss Wigfall is only a peripatetic visitor; I fear no cage could quite contain her; she is a most remarkably strong young woman." he let Isiah know.
    
   He could hardly have an unmarried young woman living under the same roof as himself unchaperoned, even if she was rather too unattractive for anyone to believe that there could be any impropriety involved.  
    
   "Jemima's in the back now helping Addy get cleaned up." He stepped to the side showing where they were in the process of setting the table and the nice pie that Jemima brought over. "Won'tcha stay fer dinner?" He asked.
    
   "Oh, I wouldn't want to deprive you of, er, ...." He demurred politely although, to be fair, the ingredients in the pie had originally been intended for his tummy!
    
   "There's plenty.  Jemima brought over a steak pie." He smiled as Josh came over from setting the last plate in it's place, standing beside his Pa he waved at the gentlemen and in a small voice "Hi." He said as he hid a bit behind his father's leg, always shy at first around new folks.
    
   "Oh, well, if you insist!" Browne hadn't been hard to convince to stay, that was for sure.
    
   "And who is this young gentleman?" he asked, bending down and smiling benignly at Josh.
    
   @Bongo @MD
   
3. 

   Gotta Carry On

   July 27, 2022

   "I'm Isiah Chappel." He extended his hand to greet the man. "Addy's brother.  Just arrived about a week or so ago." He quickly let the gentleman know of his sister's well being.
    
   Browne's face was a picture of worry: he had been away collecting geological samples for a week and knew nothing of Addy's long lost brother coming to live with her. Had her brother been called here because of some family tragedy? Had Addy not escaped totally unscathed from her savage captors?
    
   Chronologically, it didn't make logical sense, but the older man couldn't help but feel disquiet over the brother's presence.
    
   On the other hand... at least it wasn't a new boyfriend, popped up in the morning dew like a mushroom to replace Jay Ryker.
    
   "And Addy is just fine.  Physically at least." He had no idea what kind of mental toll this might take on her.  She was tough though and he knew she's bounce back.
    
   Well, that was a relief! And that relief showed on Falmer Browne's features.
    
   "Mighty kind of ya to come and check on her." He said with a nod of his head.
    
   "Oh, think nothing of it, my dear Mr Chappel" Browne shook his head in turn. "Your sister is very, very dear to me, I mean, to all of us, the whole community!" he corrected himself, not wanting to sound too creepy. 
    
   @MD
    
   
4. 

   Gotta Carry On

   July 27, 2022

   There was an urgent knock on the front door followed by the sound of someone boldly letting themselves into the house, a man's voice - a well spoken one, too - no hobbledehoy this - grew loud as it approached the kitchen, which was the hub and hearth of this household.
    
   "Miss Chappel! Miss Chappel? Miss Chappel, are you there!" it called, in quite a state of agitation. "Miss Chappel, I have just heard... oh!" The tall, spindly figure of Mr. F. Falmer Browne, often inappropriately labelled The Professor by the denizens of Kalispell, due to his reclusive habits and odd agricultural and geological enthusiasms and erudite studies, skidded to a halt at the threshold of the kitchen proper.
    
   The sight of Isiah seemed to puzzle him enough for the man to screw up his eyes and stoop forward to make sure he wasn't seeing what he hoped he wasn't seeing.
    
   He looked relieved. It wasn't his rival in love, the odious Ryker, returned! But there was always the worry that this might be some new paramour, again, younger and more attractive than himself!
    
   "Oh, how do you do? I am Miss Chappel's next door neighbour, Falmer Brown. I have just been appraised of the most execrable news of that fair lady's incarceration by the savages of the plain! Er, you are...?" 
    
   @MD
    
    
   
5. 

   Tell Me a Tale

   October 13, 2021

   Addy pondered for a moment, then grinned and nodded.  "A'right, then, sounds like a right good arrangement, although I'd be remiss not ta pay her somethin'."  She reckoned she could work that out with the young lady.
    
   Felix gave Addy an avuncular smile and shook his head slightly. "Oh, I doubt the young lady I am thinking of would be at all interested in any form of remuneration, Adelaide. In fact, if I have read her aright, the arrangement will be rewarding for her in a much more profound and, dare I say, spiritual way." he said, sounding a little more mysterious than he really intended to.
    
   But then her nose wrinkled up."It ain't Miss Mudd, is t?  Not that I got nothin' against th' child, but she'd like as not end up in th' manure pile eventually!"
    
   Browne frowned. "Mudd? Mudd? ... Oh! Is that the rather hoydenish girl with whom you had the slight contretemps at the Ladies' Society meeting?" As something of a recluse, Browne hardly ever visited either the Saloon or the Church and was therefore, apart from the aforementioned incident, blissfully unaware of the antics of the little pest Arabella. 
    
   "By no means. The young lady I am thinking of is extremely well educated and well mannered and, I believe, in dire need of a worthy project to distract her from her woes. It is not my place to mention names, but if I were to inform you that the poor girl recently lost her father in the most horrible and distressing of circumstances, you may well hazard a guess." Browne intoned, aiming to calm Addy's fears. "I hope that such a person might be acceptable to you."
    
   Laughing, she shrugged and held out her glass for another refill.  "Deal!  Now I got Weedy ta look after, I gotta be more educated, I reckon, so's now's as good a time as any.  An' I know Weedy'd love ta come over an' help you with...whatever it is yer doin' here.  Be good fer th' lad."
    
   "Very good!" beamed Browne, refilling their glasses, only a slight pang of regret that he had done the decent thing in attempting to help Miss Chappel and Miss Orr all in one fell swoop, without indulging his own selfish desires.
    
   [OOC: I'll start a new thread, set about a week or so later, with Anæsthesia calling on Addy for the first lesson]
   
6. 

   Tell Me a Tale

   October 11, 2021

   "Need someone ta show me once an' fer all how ta read an' write.  Can't go no longer not knowin' that.  Reckon I could talk to th' school marm."  She'd seemed a nice sort and had held her own against adversity.
    
   Browne's blurted reply might well have been predicted: "Oh, my dear Miss Chappel, I myself would be only too happy to..."
    
   He stopped himself at the precipice, and teetered at its edge.
    
   Could he trust himself? Could he attempt to teach this beautiful young woman, this beautiful, engaged woman to read and write without falling hopelessly, foolishly further in love with her? The very idea was grotesque, silly. He was an old man; he had dedicated the remainder of his life to science, to relieving the suffering of mankind. No, he could not risk it. 
    
   "... to arrange a private tutor for you." He heaved a secret sigh of relief. He had done it. He had resisted temptation.
    
   "There is a young person of my acquaintance whom I believe has all the necessary literary qualifications for the task and, more importantly, the correct..." he struggled for the right phrase "... the right heart. There would be no cost involved..." he assumed that money might be tight around the Chappel household at the moment with Jay away and a growing boy to feed.
    
   There was a clatter next door and Felix, deigning to read Addy's mind, quickly added.
    
   "This is no silly girl like Jemima of whom I speak, Adelaide, but a very proper young woman only a few years younger than yourself." he claimed, rather generously, to the 29 year old. "We could arrange for a two week trial period, and then the two of you could let me know whether you both wish to continue. If not, then there will be no embarrassment on either side."
    
   Falmer Browne said all this in as easy-going manner as possible: though he realised that when it came down to it, being taught by a younger woman might actually be quite an ordeal for the grown up, self reliant, independent woman who sat before him.
    
   @Bongo
   
7. 

   Tell Me a Tale

   October 9, 2021

   "Don't reckon as I blame her."  Addy shrugged.  "S'why I don't put much stock in love."  She could do without Jay, she'd been fine before he'd shown up, and she'd be just fine...until he came back.
    
   Falmer Browne found himself in something of an invidious position. On the one hand, he somewhat agreed with Jemima's assessment: that such a letter was possibly a comfortable way out for a man who was getting cold feet about marriage and settling down. He was also delighted to have a love rival out of the way, no matter how hopeless his own romantical plans were, even without competition.
    
   On the other hand, he had the utmost sympathy for Addy, and for Weedy too, for that matter. And it seemed hard that Ryker had not even deigned to give an exact date for his return that Addy could at least pin her hopes on. 'Acouple of months' was vague, when did that become 'a few months'?
    
   He tried to be comforting.
    
   "I am sure that Mr Ryker will return very soon" he said somewhat stiffly "'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' and all that!" he added, though he could equally have repeated the old adage 'Out of sight, out of mind'.
    
    "Gonna be hard on Weedy, though.  He's got a fondness fer Jay, an' he'll miss him while he's gone."
    
   "Well, we must occupy his mind, and your own, until Mr Ryker returns!" the scientist counselled breezily. "You and he are always welcome around here. Young Master Porter seemed to be quite interested in my small menagerie and, for all her strange ideas, Miss Wigfall seems to have an odd affinity with the lad." he offered. He felt a little guilty, for there was definitely  an element of selfish interest in his invitations.
    
   
8. 

   Tell Me a Tale

   October 7, 2021

   "Afternoon, F...Falmer....Mr. Browne..."  She wasn't sure what to call him...'F' seemed odd, 'Falmer' was his second name, and 'Mr. Browne' was awful formal for neighbors.
    
   "Oh, please, Miss Chappel, call me Felix: no formality between good neighbors, eh?" he replied jovially before waving the bottle of whiskey queryingly in her direction.
    
   "Yes, sir, I'd more'n be happy with a bit'a fortification, can always do with that!"
    
   "Fortification. Yes. Good word! I... too... shall fortify." he said as he carefully poured a generous bumper of the good stuff for each of them and handed the drink over with all the assiduous attention of a high class waiter in a fancy restaurant. 
    
   "Now then..." he risked it "Adelaide, is this a purely social visit, or is there something that you would like to discuss?" Oooh, it felt so thrilling to use her Christian name.
    
   Nothing like whisky to still the nerves, and it would be a sin to turn down the 'good stuff'.  "I was thinkin' ta ask a favor, if it ain't too much a imposition."
    
   "I am entirely at your service." came the instant reply, Browne sweeping an arm and bowing slightly to further indicate his complete and utter willingness to render any aide that the entrancing diamond in the rough might desire.
    
   @Bongo
   
9. 

   On the Street Where You Live

   August 1, 2021

   Jay watched the paint drop onto his immaculately polished boot. and shook his head.
    
   "You wouldn't stand a chance. But you're lucky. I'm not gentleman and I won't be duelling you. Not for this. If you were actually in love with Adelaide and wanted to court her...maybe."
    
   "You won't fight, Sir?!" This idea was somewhat beyond F. Falmer Browne's sphere of comprehension. Was the man part of some strange pacifist religion, like the German Bretherin perhaps?
    
   He took the pain brush from the mans hand and set it down so it wouldn't mark up his shoes any more. "You can have the first punch, though!" Now it was Jay's tone that had become self assured and mocking.
    
   "Oh! Fisticuffs, eh?! Very well, as the challenged party, you have choice of weapons, of course. And I am willing to dispense with seconds if you are. You will have to pick up your own teeth from the sidewalk!" Browne warned, pulling off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves. 
    
   So, she was stomping back, and in time to see the men squaring up. 
    
   Browne, for his part had taken a scientific stance, legs bent and akimbo, first circling somewhat ridiculously looking in front of him in pure textbook style. 
    
   "Come come! I'll have you know I used to box at Amhurst! I took the Bronze Medal at the 1838 intercollege bout, I'll soon settle your hash, you brute!" F.F. taunted, circling round and making feints and jabs that nearly put his back out of kilter.
    
   But Addy had other ideas.
    
   "Ain't gonna be no duelin'!" she declared as she barged between the two, "an' th' only one doin' any punchin'll be me!"  To that end, she gave F. Falmer a firm jab in the chest.
    
   "Ow! That hurt." he complained, rubbing the afflicted area. 
    
    "You, go home before I do somethin' I'll enjoy!"
    
   "But... he snatched my brush!" protested Falmer Browne weakly, before sighing "Very well. Miss Chappel, Mr Ryker." he gave them both a small stiff bow and sloped off, then had to step back and retrieve his jacket from the steps before trying again.
    
   "An' you," now it was Jay's turn, "ya come with me, if ya ever did have any feelin's fer me, an' I know ya did, an' I you, so jest...C'mon, let's talk this out."
    
   There was too much at stake to just let this go...
    
   @Jack @Bongo
    
   
10. 

    On the Street Where You Live

    July 31, 2021

    Rather than withdraw his slanderous slur, Mr. Ryker compounded it further.
     
    "You have a sleazy grin, sly tongue and not much to back it up is what I think so you need to go around and steal other mens ..." What could he call her without saying too much. "...treasures."
     
    "You have gone too far Sir. How dare you! How very dare you?!! To imply, that I ... with ... your treasures! I..." Falmer Browne spluttered with wounded dignity. "You will withdraw those comments, Sir, or suffer the consequences!"
     
    "Bring on the consequences. I dare you."
     
    Ryker's paintbrush wielding rival turned suddenly from red-faced outrage to a sort of pale faced calm, as he pulled himself up to his full height and became very calm. The die was cast. There was no choice but death before dishonour.
     
    "Very well." he said, looking down his nose at Jay "As a gentleman, you offer me no other choice. You will please name your second, and my second, Mr..." Oh crikey, who could he name as his second? Being something of a recluse he didn't really have any male friends that he could rely on to hold his coat in a duel of honour. Oh, there was the lad who delivered him farm produce sometimes! He'd have to do. 
     
    "My second, Mr Jacob Lutz, will wait upon your second." He stood waiting to hear who Ryker's second would be as a blob of paint dripped onto his boot.
     
    @Jack
    

Topics I Participated In

1. 

   Gotta Carry On

   Started by Adelaide Chappel · July 18, 2022

   Mature Content: No
   With: Addy, Isiah, Weddy, Josh, Open
   Location: Millegan Stage Co. Barn/Chappel Residence
   When: Aug 31 / 1876
   Time of Day: Midday
    
   
    
   Addy was grateful that her brother was here to drive the wagon back home...while she could have done it, she was exhausted, both physically and mentally.  She'd helped take care of the injured until they got to the fort, but once they were on the rode back to town, she'd relaxed with Caroline in the back of the wagon, where both ladies endured Weddy and Josh's earnest ministrations. 
    
   Still, Addy had pretty quickly fallen asleep, and only woke up when they stopped in town to drop off Miss Mundee at her home.  After giving the young woman a firm hug, she climbed onto the seat next to her brother, leaning against him with a sigh.
    
   "Good ta be home," she muttered, although there was a lot to do before she could relax.  "Least ways I got me a horse outta it," she added, indicating the Indian paint tied to the back of the wagon.  "Gonna hafta take a team out an' get th' coach." 
    
   Sighing, she rested her head on her brother's shoulder.  "Gotta get me some boots an' a good meal first, though.  It was good ta see ya there."
    
   @MD
   
2. 

   Tell Me a Tale

   Started by Adelaide Chappel · October 6, 2021

   Mature Content: No
   With: Addy, F. Falmer Browne Bear, et al
   Location: Residence of F. Falmer B. B.
   When: June 1876
   Time of Day: Afternoon
    
   
    
   The letter had been sitting on her table for a few days, and while Addy knew it was for her, and from Jay, she hadn't read it, mostly because she couldn't read but a few words, and she had been pondering over who to read it.  Not, Weedy, of course, he was just a kid, and if there was something in it bad (she couldn't imagine what that might be, she loved Jay and he loved her), she didn't want him finding out that way. 
    
   Work had kept her busy, although it had given her plenty of time to ponder on who she could ask to read it for her, and after miles of hemmin' an' hawin', and thinkin' on this one an' that, she settled on her neighbor, F. Falmer, so now she was standing on his porch, the letter stashed in the pocket of the blue wool skirt she was wearing, and after knocking, she took off her hat and scooped some stray hairs behind her ear as she waited.
    
   @Javia
   
3. 

   On the Street Where You Live

   Started by Adelaide Chappel · May 13, 2021

   Mature Content: No?
   With: Jay Ryker
   Location: Addy's House
   When: May/Late/ 1875
   Time of Day: Late Morning
    
   
    
   Taking advantage of a 'day off', Addy was working on one of the myriad of projects that needed doing on her new house.  And there was a lot!  Roofing, holes in walls, holes in the front porch, rickety railings on the stairs, painting...and she had promised Weedy that he could do the painting, something he had begged her to let him do, and she suspected he was going to ask Wyatt to help, and that he thought it sounded like 'fun'.
    
   So, there was no painting today, and the most important project, to her thinking, was to make sure that the front porch and steps were safe, and that no one was going to fall through. 
    
   Since just after dawn, she'd been working with hammer and saw, reinforcing the frame, then replacing boards before moving on to the railings.  She'd been at it for a few hours when she finally stopped for a short break, sitting on the steps that she'd just rebuilt.  The water she was sipping was welcome...it wasn't particularly hot today, but she was still coated in dirt that was streaked by sweat, her hair was tangled and matter with cobwebs in its braid, and she was looking forward to a bath later in the day, once the work was done.
    
   But for now, she was catching her breath, looking out past her yard, her little white picket fence, and at the street where her house was!
    
   @Jack
    
   
4. 

   Grin and Bear It

   Started by Adelaide Chappel · March 2, 2021

   Mature Content: No
   With: F. Falmer Browne, Esq/Dame Addy, Bar Killer
   Location: The street
   When: April/ 1876
   Time of Day: Afternoon
    
   
    
   “My apologies, Miss Chappel, if my appearance alarmed you, I had supposed that you, of all people, would not be alarmed by my unconventional garb … it is just, the young lady whom you escorted from the building, our absent poetess, had informed me that this occasion was to be a ‘fancy dress party’ and I must confide, I am most exceeding partial to ‘fancy dress parties’.”
    
   "Why don't that surprise me?"  Shaking her head, Addy muttered, "Reckon it likely was in that child's head."  It was no mystery that Arabella was subject to flights of fantasy, and it was no surprise that she preferred a 'fancy dress party' to a dull meeting.
    
   “F. Falmer Browne, at your service, Miss Chappel” he tried the bow again “I believe that we are new neighbors. My card…” he went to fetch out his carte de visite from his vest pocket, but found a layer of dead bear in the way. “Oh, I shall ‘pop’ my card around later. Ahem! It is also my intention to avail myself of your very particular services at some time in the very near future, Miss Chappel. Perhaps we can arrange a time to meet and ‘talk it through’ at your convenience, of course.” He proffered.
    
   As she continued to watch him skeptically, Addy speculated that it was not a problem that he didn't have a card, since she couldn't much read anyway, and when he declared that he wanted her services, she frowned, wondering what, exactly, he meant, and still not convinced that he wasn't here to take Weedy.
    
   "Can do that now, if you've a mind," she muttered, then shrugged.  "Can just head over to th' saloon an' you can buy me a beer."[/b]  Not offering to give him time to get out of the absurd costume he had on...good to keep him a bit off balance, wasn't it?
    
   @Javia
    
    
    
   
5. 

   Some Things are Never Easy

   Started by Matt Wentworth · October 5, 2020

   Rating: PG-14 Content: N/A Mature Content: No
   With: Matt Wentworth and others
   When: 29 April 1876
   Time of Day: Morning and Afternoon
    
   
    
   Matt was looking over the last of the preparations for the event that was being held in the hotel's ballroom later that day.  The Kalispell Ladies' Society were having a special afternoon tea and had invited a few speakers to come along.  One of the invited was Leah Steelgrave, who Matt presumed was going to present her project for approval in the hopes of getting the ladies to influence their husbands and others about the benefits of having a hospital and orphanage.  The spring dance at Horace Simkin's barn was last week and the town meeting to vote on whether or not to accept Miss Steelgrave's offer would be held in about a week or so.
    
   In a way, he felt sorry for Leah.  The Steelgrave name was proving to be more than just a hinderance.  She was having a tough time proving that she was doing this on her own and that her father had nothing to do with it.  The afternoon tea would be one of the few opportunities the lady would get to present her side.
    
   As for the afternoon tea, it was coming along nicely.  Ruth Johnson was busy organising the last of the seating and going over the guest list.  When he told her about inviting a Miss Arabella Mudd to the party, Ruth had been a bit perplexed as she wasn't familiar with her.  He told her that she was one of the survivors of Whitefish and Ruth seemed to be all right with that, mentioning something about being kind to the poor unfortunate souls who had survived the tragedy.  Matt smiled at what she might have said if he had told her that Miss Mudd was now under the protection of the owners of the Stardust Saloon.  He didn't have objections to it and Ruth probably wouldn't either but there would be one or two members of the Ladies Society that might.
    
   Pulling out his watch, he noted the time.  In about two hours, the room would be filled with women eating and chatting away.  His plan was to spend the time in his office and be on hand just in case he was needed.  However, he made a mental note that if Sarah turned up, he would make the time to say hello.
    
   TBC
   

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