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"I Will Understand..."


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Rating: PG-14
Content: N/A

Mature Content: Yes but not in action only talk

 

With: Clara and Emeline
Location: Lickskillet
When: Early June /1876 (sometime before 5 June)
Time of Day: Morning just before opening hours

 

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Clara had dreaded this but she simply could not keep putting it off any longer. Emeline had to know the truth, the whole sordid truth even if the woman then reacted very badly to it. In fact, Clara steeled herself to the distinct possibility Emeline would end their friendship or whatever it was they now had. Certainly it would mean the end of her working for the woman. She knew many customers would be appalled, even angry if Emeline let someone of such 'loose morals' work there. It would hurt the business and Clara would not allow that to happen to this wonderful caring woman.

 

As she opened the back door to the place and stepped into the kitchen, there was the woman she rather thought of as a mother, busy already preparing for another long day. Clara was going to miss this so much too, not just because of the money, but she so enjoyed their time together, why it almost didn't even seem like work.

 

"Morning," Clara addressed her, her youthful face looking most solemn, for indeed she was.

 

"I ....well, I hate to interrupt the work but could I speak to you? It is of utmost importance and it is not going to be easy for me to ...tell you but I simply must," she moved right up to the woman, plainly nervous.

 

@Bongo

 

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"Good morning, Clara."  Emeline smiled brightly as the girl came in, it was always good to see her, she enjoyed the companionship, and even appreciated Clara's droll demeanor.  But as soon as she really looked at the girl, it was apparent that she had something serious on her mind.

 

"I ....well, I hate to interrupt the work but could I speak to you? It is of utmost importance and it is not going to be easy for me to ...tell you but I simply must," she moved right up to the woman, plainly nervous.

 

"Yes, of course."  Setting aside the batter she was working on, she wiped her hands on her apron, then leaned back against the counter, a dozen possibilities going through her head, and she fervently hoped the girl wasn't going to quit, she'd miss her, and she's have to start looking for someone she trusted to keep the place, if she decided that was what she wanted to do.

 

"What is it, Clara?"

 

@Wayfarer

 

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Emeline of course agreed to stop what she was doing and give her full attention to what the girl wanted...make that needed to say. There was no avoiding it now, Clara knew she had to go thru with it however unpleasant.

 

"What is it, Clara?"

 

"This is not going to be easy but I must tell something about me, something that happened. Well, that I let happen. I have only myself to blame," Clara sighed.

 

"I am not the person you think I am. I am .... well, a hypocrite I suppose. I have done something sinful and now I cannot undo it."

 

Her eyes were tearing up as she got right to the heart of the matter.

 

"I am going to have a baby."

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There was a growing sense of dread as Clara started to lay out her case, not so much as to what the transgression might be, but how she was going to respond to allay the girl's misgivings.

 

But then came the conclusion, and Emeline was at a loss for a very long moment.  There were so many thoughts, that trying to sort and organize them was daunting, but they always came back to two that were outstanding.

 

"Oh, Clara..."  Moving forward, Emeline wrapped the girl in a gentle hug.  "What happened?"  Well, of course she knew what happened, it was more a matter of what happened, and that made a difference.  "Were you attacked?"  Had Billy or one of his friends gone after her?  "We'll figure this out...does your father know?"  She didn't know the man well enough to be able to predict how he might react.

 

@Wayfarer

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Though normally not one for hugs, this time Clara melted into the woman's kind gesture, maybe Jacob had taught her that human contact wasn't so bad. Of course, on the other hand, the two of them had certainly overdone it! And of course the woman had questions, inevitable and fully expected questions. Clara had to answer them. It was why she came to Emeline even.

 

"Oh no! Not attacked, nothing like that," Clara quickly quashed that worry as they separated then to better talk to each other.

 

"It was my doing...well and Jacob too of course. But I swear to you, he did not force himself upon me. We were swimming at the lake  by the farm and we were .......well, without clothing. We started kissing and then one thing led to another and both of us knew it was wrong but neither of us had the self control to stop until...." she paused.

 

"Well, you know," Clara gave a sad shrug, she figured Emeline knew how it worked. She had been married once and even had a child too. Til tragedy.

 

"And now a little more than a month and a week, I have missed my bleed," she announced glumly.

 

"And no my father does not know yet. I have not been able to force myself to tell him. He is going to be angry with me but even more so, so disappointed in me. It is a serious sin I have committed," a tear was trickling down one cheek by now.

 

hailee-steinfeld-gif-hunt-gifs-58d4e7a62

 

@Bongo

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Swimming naked?  How had that happened, especially with as guarded as Clara was?  And why had she not realized that one thing led to another?

 

"Oh, dear..."  Well, at least she hadn't been assaulted, although that might have given her a better 'excuse', but that was the sort of trauma that no woman should have to live with. 

 

Of course, Clara was right, it was indeed a serious sin, one that would likely effect the rest of her life. 

 

"Oh, dear..."  What more was there to say?  Disappear somewhere for a few months?  But she didn't think that Clara was the sort that would give up a child just for the convenience of it, and that would likely haunt her forever.

 

"Well, what's done is done...what about the young man?  Jacob...have you told him yet?  He should do right by you and the child..."  And if they were married quickly enough, then timing might be excused.  That plan hid its own difficulties, they'd have to act in the next couple of days, so without telling her father until it was done, and they might not be compatible partners, much the less in love, but those were consequences of indiscretions.

 

@Wayfarer

 

 

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"Oh dear."

 

Emeline said that not once but twice. Yet Clara supposed that was mild compared to what the woman might have expressed on hearing what she was being told. Though - at least so far- Emeline had not outright said how disappointed she must be with her doing such a thing, Clara was certain it was in her thoughts. But Clara had laid it out on the table and wanted to hear more from her mother-figure than  'oh dear'.

 

Fortunately Emeline continued, "Well, what's done is done...what about the young man?  Jacob...have you told him yet?  He should do right by you and the child..." 

 

"Yes, I told him as soon as I suspected it. And he immediately said he wanted to marry me. It is almost as if he is looking forward to it, he seemed happy more so than shocked," Clara replied.

 

"I am not certain he has thought it through yet though, how we are going to be perceived by many people. Despised I imagine as the sinners we are, I guess," she sighed.

 

"And I will understand if you need to dismiss me here at the diner. You can hardly afford to alienate customers with your continued employment of someone like....me," Clara stiffened even as she said it.

 

This was her fault and Emeline's business and reputation should not suffer for her weakness.

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Well, if there was any good in this, it was that Jacob was willing to take responsibility.  After all, he could turned his back on her and denied it, calling her all manner of things in the process.  But that he seemed eager to marry her, that was a good count in his favor.

 

"No, no, don't worry about me dismissing you."  The poor girl had so much else to think about, and there was no reason to let her go.

 

"Oh, Clara...there isn't time to contemplate anything...you gave away your options when you..."  She took a breath and shook her head.  Clara knew what she'd done, no need to drive that home.  "If you marry now you can explain the child as just being a little early."  Well, a lot early, but who was counting?  "The longer you wait, the harder it will be."

 

Good advisor she was, telling the girl to lie!  And to betray her father and just elope...not a great way to start a marriage, but that was lost a few weeks ago.

 

@Wayfarer

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"No, no, don't worry about me dismissing you."

 

Her unwavering support, well at least kindness, was touching, it truly was but probably not the smart business thing to do.

 

"But you may well lose customers on my account," Clara stressed but on her other options she really did want to hear what the woman had to say.

 

"Oh, Clara...there isn't time to contemplate anything...you gave away your options when you..."  She took a breath and shook her head,  "If you marry now you can explain the child as just being a little early. The longer you wait, the harder it will be."

 

"Yes, I agree. Time is against us. Jacob knows that too," Clara nodded, "But I think you are right, we need to marry and do it quickly. And then deal with the consequences."

 

"Oh god....I wonder what my mother thinks of me right now? " there was a tear coursing down one cheek now from the normally unemotional young woman.

 

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"I'm sure she's thinking that you'll be a wonderful mother."  Using her apron, Emeline wiped away tears, wondering if she would be this calm should the situation arise with her own child.  But then she thought that she'd be so grateful to have a child live to adulthood that she wouldn't care...it would take something far more than this to alienate her.

 

"And I'm sure you'll love being a mother, but you can't take this guilt into it, Clara.  I can't say for certain, of course, but if you always think of the baby as a sin, it might interfere with your feelings."  Well, 'interfere' wasn't exactly the word Emeline was looking for, but it conveyed the idea...Clara and Jacob both needed to embrace this.

 

@Wayfarer

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